In 2016, I went through a divorce and just a few short months later, my brother passed. I experienced pain through loss before but this was different. Not only did I have to heal from a divorce, on top of that I was now forced to deal with grief in the form of losing my brother. This was a very tough season of my life. I would consider myself to be a pretty strong woman. Normally when tough things come my way my go to mode is to not let it get the best of me. But this time, I just couldn’t muscle up that strong woman. I just broke down into so many pieces.
In my mind, I couldn’t even fathom where to begin to process not just one but two major losses. So, I just cried out to God in prayer. He was my only hope and I had trust him to help me make it through this. Before my brother passed, we would encourage each other to grow in our relationship with the Lord. My memories of him and the time we spent together gave me the courage to deal with his death.
My divorce on the other hand was a different story. I was forced to file for divorce still being in love with this person like it was the first day we met. Even though we were married for such a short time, 6 years; we had spent 20 plus years together. I experienced so much with him and for the sake of being obedient to God I had no choice but to let the relationship go.
Initially, I thought about all the things he put me through. All the years of abuse, hurt, pain, and neglect. So I began to express to God in prayer that I needed him to heal me from all the things that my ex-husband did to hurt me. I heard God’s voice as clear as day and he said, “That’s not what you need healing from!” Those words shocked me. I repeated myself and said God you need to heal me from what he did to me. God spoke to me again and said I don’t need to heal you from what he did. I need to show you how you allowed yourself to go through all of those things.
Then he proceeded to hold a mirror in front of me and showed me one by one all the brokeness that lied inside of me. God even took me to the day I was born and showed me how I was birthed in brokeness even in my mothers womb. This healing process introduced me to areas of my heart and life that I could not have forseen the depths of brokeness that was just lying dormant inside me. A devestating loss became the catalyst to reveal what was deep inside me. It was nothing but a bunch of muck and mire. Here I was thinking that it was someone else’s fault. I thought my healing was about someone else, but God quickly steered me away from those thought and tooke me on an unexpected turn towards ME.
Often times when we experience heartache, we set our sights on the person or the situation that hurt us. Its easy to place blame on someone else. Yes, their actions were instrumental in the situation that caused us pain, but true healing begins and ends with us. Michael Jackson so cleverly penned these words in his song, I’m starting with the man in the mirror.” That’s the exact place God started with me and the best place for God to begin your healing process is with you.
I began to desperately seek God. I became active in my healing. When God begins to show you things, especially the hard truth about yourself its because he knows the plans that he has for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, God’s plans are to prosper you, to give you a future and a hope. It is then your responsibility to allow him to heal you from the inside out.
Ladies, your healing begins with you. No matter what you’ve experienced. No matter how hard it may seem. Just know you can only get through it and heal from it with God.
Here are some scriptures to ponder:
“Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. - Matthew 19:26
Psalm 34:17-18 (amplified version) says “When the righteous cry (for help), the Lord hears and rescues them from all their distress and troubles. The Lord is near to the heartbroken and he saves those who are crushed in spirit. Many hardships and perplexing circumstances confront the righteous, But the Lord rescues him from them all.” - Psalm 34:17-18 (amplified version)
“Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.” - Matthew 5:4 (Beatitudes)
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; when you pass through the rivers; they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned the flames will not set you ablaze. - Isaiah 43:2
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” - Psalm 73:26
Prayer:
Father God I come boldy before your throne. Thanking you for these beautiful ladies and the diverse trials that you so graciously help us make it through. Father God I thank you for those ugly truths about ourselves that you so lovingly reveal to us just to show us even more the great purpose that lies inside and the destiny that awaits on the other side of our healing. Father I thank you for never leaving nor forsaking us. I thank you for healing our hearts, as we surrender our hearts and all the hard things we face to you. I thank you Father for the overcoming power that lies inside of us because of your son Jesus.
Many of us have expereinced heartbreak and loss, and our first thought was to blame someone else for it. Help us to see the truth of it all. Help us to forgive. Help us to love again. Help us to trust in you even through the pain.
Renew our hope and let us see your hand in it all. May these trials mold and shape us even more to be the Woman of God that you called us to be. There is no pain. There is not hurt that you cannot heal. Romans 8:28, all things work together for the good to them that love God and are called according to His purpose. God we love you and we trust you. Today we vow to pursue wholeness. Today we vow to pursue purpose. Today we vow to pursue peace. Today is the day of new beginnings. Father, I thank you for the many testimonies to come that will uplift and change another woman’s life. I ask all of this in the precious name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth.
Amen
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